August 1, 2020
I know I am not the best listener, but when God calls upon my heart, I do listen.
For some time, I have been feeling an urgent call within to develop a platform to share creative expressions of my writing, photography, art and videos. Images would suddenly stream through my mind of my voice being shared in the world in ways I would not picture since I am an introvert by nature. I felt dread in my heart of putting myself out there again after avoiding social media for many years since it had delivered the ugliness of evil to my family back in 2012. Despite how I felt, I was willing to listen to my intuition and jump back in anyway. I know I am not the best listener, but when God calls upon my heart, I do listen.
For as long as I can remember there has been an inner knowing that one day, I would serve others during a challenging time for humanity. I did not know exactly when or what my role would be, but I was given visions of landmarks I should be watchful for indicating the time was near.
In 2017 on my birthday, I was not prepared to experience one of those landmarks. I knew it was time for a call to action and I knew great difficulties were ahead, but I was still willing… so very willing to serve my God and there was an underlying sense of excitement coupled with the emotions of fear within me. I was with my friend Cindy at the time, who also uses her voice in writing, and I could not even speak at all. All I could do was cry.
Initially, there was a calm before the storm. I had no idea the service part would come later because, following the calm, I was thrust into boot-camp training of a proportion I would not have dreamed. I literally existed in a state of duress and trauma for the next several years beginning with the impacts of climate change to my home after an extremely “rare” bomb cyclone hit New England in January of 2018. Only two months later, this “rare” phenomenon would hit us again.
From there, I experienced the ineptitude of the insurance industry to morally serve the consumers who feed their bottom lines… our government’s inability to resolve their own flood insurance funding issues… a private internet flood insurance fiasco… and the longest government shutdown in history during a period when I needed them most to resolve these issues. The government served to be of no assistance when it finally reopened in February of 2019. I decided I had enough and put my house on the market in March of 2019.
As if this was not enough, the mess that is our health insurance industry completely and utterly failed my family during a time of need and I almost lost my child in July of 2019. I was a single homeowner with 3 lives dependent upon me without income the entire month of August acting as decision maker for every medical procedure my comatose daughter needed while she suffered with seizures in her brain for weeks. Amid all this, I quickly pulled my house off the market and pushed through an immediate cash-out refinance to prevent myself from financial ruin. Thankfully, due to the prayers of many… the medical staff who cared for her… and the strong inner spirit of my daughter… she miraculous survived with no brain damage and is healthy 1 year later.
So here I am in 2020, almost 3 years later, finally ready to use my voice in a period where our Country has been in a state of perpetual trauma for some time now. I’m calling it my FREE Forever Initial Public Offering. You see strangely… I am not in a state of trauma or fear during these times. In fact, from day 1 of COVID and quarantine I’ve had a innate sense of quiet peace and confidence that all is well underlying all of this madness and sadness. Don’t get me wrong… I have my moments of anger and distrust at all going on but I attempt to do something positive and constructive with those feelings when they arise.
I do believe our country is hitting a bottom of sorts and it may get worse before it gets better. My experience is God can turn shit into gold, but for God to transform and heal, he must first destroy and remove that which does not serve the highest good. Light must illuminate the darkness, and for that to happen… you have to look directly into the darkness and it starts with your own.
Our ugliness has had front and center stage for long enough now, wouldn’t you say? Have we not hurt each other and ourselves long enough? I think it is time to begin the path of recovery and my heart longs to get busy. To be a healthy America, we must be healthy, loving, compassionate, morally upright citizens. I am no saint, but I have done much inner healing and transformation work and feel I have something to offer in this regard. You can visit some of my experiences in the Art section.
I am nearing the end of my 50th year here on planet earth and when I grow up, I want to be a writer / photographer sharing real life stories of the healing of America. I don’t want to just take pictures and tell stories. My heart is calling me to be the hands reaching those who are suffering, sad, fearful and angry and help heal and uplift in whatever way I can. Even if that means the only thing I can do is keep my peace and not add to the fear and suffering in the world. This is what I have been trying my best to do since the virus began. I really have been enjoying the peace but it is time to get busy now. I’ve spent the past several months working with my counselor to remove trauma of last year so I could be more effective in my role. I’ve also been spending time creating this website, which is a huge upgrade from the simple blog I created back in 2012.
My vision is to be a modern day Mrs. Rogers Neighborhood type communicator of sorts, connecting people to their own inner wholesome and goodness. That is what we liked about him isn’t it? He was kind, patient, calm and good and he taught us things. He brought us on inner journeys of our imagination with Lady Elaine in the Neighborhood of Make Believe. I have no idea how it is all going to come together yet, I am just willing to be a vessel through which God can heal and transform. He will provide content as he sees fit.
My dream is to help Re-Create America and I want America to about our Recreation. With God all things are possible and with AI such things are possible. Truth, Values and Community need to matter again, starting with valuing humanity and forgiving humanness, including our own. It is time to bring forth the best of who we are individually and collectively.
I have many Visions. I Dream Big! May it be so!
My intention is that whoever visits here, leaves here fractionally shifted towards the ideals of healing, truth, compassion, purity, and love. The World could use more of these things. It is going to take a lot of hard work to get there. Are you ready?