Pictures recently came up in Facebook memories of my children at the annual Memorial Day ceremony performed in front of the elementary school behind my house. The patriotism displayed by the outfits, songs sung and flags held in the youth was inspiring to me. The pictures were so meaningful, I vowed to go to the school today to capture pictures of our current youth.
As I worked from home, I suddenly heard the Taps trumpet call blaring. I immediately grabbed my camera and ran to the school. I was heart-broken to find there was only a small group of children in attendance.
Apparently, today is also “standardized testing” day. The small group represented the kindergarteners not required to perform such tests. All other students were inside the school performing testing, which I imagine they will never remember taking. I am sure both of my kids have memories of the day in their youth when they gathered around the flagpole with classmates of all ages in camaraderie to honor those who served our Country to establish our precious freedoms.
While it was a disappointing moment, my sprint to the school was not a wasted trip. A beloved friend, Stephen Fowles, was there as part of the ceremonial event. I hugged him immediately. My neighbor, Quincy Police officer Bill Mitchell was also a warm, friendly face in attendance. I asked him to kindly snap a photo of myself and Steve.
Patriot Stephen Fowles and Myself
I adore this man. People like him show up because it matters for us to recognize and appreciate all of the sacrifices that have been made by our veterans for our Freedom. It is unfortunate to me there was not better planning to allow all the children to experience what Patriotism feels like. The weekend has only just begun, so hopefully there will be other opportunities for them to do so.
If children are to be educated to understand the true principle of patriotism, their mother must be a patriot.
This is a true, first-hand account of the innermost thoughts of Art to his beloved Lois, written while serving our country as a United States Marine during World War II. My name is Debra and I am sharing the gifts of Art’s Love Letters. Art was my grandfather and Lois was my grandmother. It was 1944 and they were 21 years old when the letters began.
An entire week has transpired since the last letter that Art wrote. It appears Art did get the weekend pass he’d hoped to get but was not banking on until it was in his pocket.
The Letter Transcript
Thursday, July 6, 1944
My Dearest Lois,
Came back from the base show with a terrible longing for you. Seen “Christmas Holiday”, wasn’t much good, dismal in parts, but it made me think of you so much. The boy being split up from his girl gave me such a low feeling. God, if only the two of us could only be together. Time can be so slow at times, especially when you’re up there and I’m here. The song in the picture was very pretty, drumming through my mind now. The name of it was “Always”. Songs can really express my feelings at times. You know what I mean, don’t you, Honey?
The play must be real good if you all have to give it a few more times. By the way, received another wonderful letter today. Doing good Lois, keeping my courage way up there. If it wasn’t for those letters, yours truly would be on the bottom.
Had quite an experience last night, Honey, and so help me never was so burnt up in my life. Still am and one boy, when I find what his name is, is going to suffer, very dirty trick and it had me trembling.
This is what happened. Had a telephone call at the barracks last night. Answered it and some guy asked if I had a girl in Washington. I said yes and he asked if I wanted to speak to her. My heart jumped then and yelled to put you on. Then after a pause, the fellow said you were here on the station. Well, then Honey you can imagine how I felt. Thought maybe you had come to me to be married. I then asked where you were. No answer for a moment, and then suddenly he says “your girl just left with an officer to go to a hotel together. Not exactly those words, Hon, but I knew then and there that it was a hoax. Cursed him out and slammed the receiver down. Simply was trembling all over! A minute later that “ma’am” I told you about called up. I refused to answer it so my buddy, a married fellow, answered for me. Man, did he ever bawl the hell out of her. He said he personally would beat the hell out of the boy that called. Really, made me feel good being a buddy like that. She was behind the trick but can’t find out the fellows name. My buddy is the real tall fellow in the picture. He is married and has two kids. He told me if somebody called him up and said something like that about his wife he would kill the guy. So help me, Darling, was so upset I couldn’t sleep for hours last night. What do you think about it? Pretty rotten, wasn’t it?
Well enough of that, onto better subjects. Don’t forget, send me your picture as soon as the film is done. My brother wants one of you also. Everybody seems so darn anxious to see you. They don’t know what they really are missing. The brother also sent his congratulations to us.
Darling, don’t be afraid of me going across. Give you my word it won’t be for a long time. Besides, Darling, I’ll know long before it does happen and so long as I don’t mention it, let’s not even think about it. Rather, let’s think about the two of us being married as we plan, huh? Honey, the next time I come up can we set a definite date? I want to so badly. And Honey, no matter what you write I won’t do anything bad, it will instead be something I want to do so terribly much. What I mean by the sentence is, you wrote and said that if you keep on writing me that way I would do something bad.
Honey, I’m glad that you and your friend get along so well. Think she is really a swell girl myself. She will make some fellow very happy as she will be a perfect wife. In fact, almost as good as my little girl is going to be and that is saying something.
Held class this morning for a change. Have to earn my keep sometimes I guess. Have to muster three times a day now because of the restrictions, eight, four and ten at night. Couldn’t go sailing this afternoon as there was no wind, caused it to be very warm.
Don’t forget the call Sunday. Was paid today as can be seen by the enclosed ten dollars. Thanks Honey, it was swell of you. Still owe that fifteen but maybe my Lois will let it go awhile longer. Still thinking that package will come.
No, Darling, I haven’t had the bracelet fixed yet. Must get in town first and that is not for a while. I love it the way it is though, Hon.
Still a lot more to tell you, Lois, but will fore go it till the morrow. Sing this last part sweetly Lois “You’ll never now how much I love you”. Bye for now, Hon. Sweet dreams.
I Love you Always, Art
Questions, Conclusions and Commentary
Commentary:
I have two points of commentary on this letter. The first is the realization of the downstream effects of putting out information that is nothing but a hoax or a dirty trick. This act could have severely damaged this young, blossoming relationship. I think all fake news and hoaxes must stop!
The second is my appreciation for how wise this young, 21-year old man was to have the insights to know that “thoughts are things” and they should not even talk about or write about him going overseas into the thick of the war. My grandfather truly was a deep, introspective, intelligent man. I love that I get to know and understand these sides of him through these letters.
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Roe vs. Wade. The ultimate decision that gave women the Choice to navigate the difficult waters of facing child birth. How long must we row before the light dawns and we wade out into new waters for our women and our children? Is the problem the Choice? Or is it about the conditions that lead a woman to Choose?
I was there once. A young 19 something with an aspiring career before me… and pregnant. It was clear to me that if I wanted the child, I would have to do it alone. The father wanted no part of the child or raising it. He already had 3 children and wasn’t doing much financially, emotionally or physically to provide for any of them. I KNEW it was going to be solely on me as the bearer of the child.
I saw no way for me to provide for the child. I mean, I could have given up my job, the only source of income I had to give the child an adequate future. Then what? Struggle to survive and provide some semblance of a poverty-stricken future for the child? It seemed irresponsible for me to choose to bring the child into such an existence. I chose to abort. I regretted it Deeply.
The problem was not that I didn’t want the child. I truly did. The problem was societal systems were not designed with a mom or a child’s need in mind. That needs to change. I watched my daughter raise her baby girl the first many months of my granddaughter’s life without any physical, financial, or emotional support from the father for reasons that are not important to go into here. I witnessed her reach a Choice point.
She was pregnant with a second child. I watched her tears of fears of how will she possibly do it with TWO children?!?! Despite those tears, I heard her say I cannot possibly give up this child’s life! Why? Because of LOVE. She so loved her own brother and appreciated all of their memories together as small children. She could not possibly selfishly steal the experience of a sibling from her daughter. She did not make the same mistake as me and I am proud of her Choice! I would not have this beautiful baby grandson had she not made the Choice for his life.
Here is the Right Choice. We can CHOOSE to do better for our women and our children. We can CHOOSE to make it affordable to raise children. We can CHOOSE to develop systems that are supportive financially and emotionally to the raising of a precious child’s life.
It is NOT an easy choice to stay at home and raise your children, struggle financially and often times have no other children to interact with unless you have another. Nor is it an easy choice to send your child off to day care to spend the majority of their day with another woman, or man, while you spend the majority of your time working to financially support the child with BASIC needs with the astronomical cost of daycare. Never mind all the extras we want to give our children so they can be well-educated, well-rounded children with a strong sense of WELL-BEING.
I once witnessed Marianne Williamson give an informal poll to the listeners at one of her campaign talks. She asked the question… “How many people in this audience are not having children because they cannot afford to?” The hands that went up were overwhelming to me. My heart broke for the women in the audience and men who also raised their hands alongside their partner whose other hand they held endearingly. We come here to experience the beauty of Life and to expand that experience for others. Yet the current environment is so difficult we have people whose only heart’s desire in life cannot even be realized… to have a child. I FELT the weight of their longing.
I think a “formal” poll needs to be administered posing the same question Marianne asked, along with other questions, such as what are the barriers to your ability to provide for and raise a healthy child. Let’s focus on the solutions to those poll questions. Let’s stop focusing on band-aid laws put into place to avoid lives being lost through illegal and legal abortions. Face it! They were happening illegally because women were facing a choice that seemed an irresponsible and impossible choice to make. Well, the SAME conditions exist today. Let’s BE responsible and make it Possible for families to flourish!
Tonight I meditated with Whim Hof breathing. It’s like rocket fuel for the soul to experience direct connection to Source. The Energy is simply Amazing!!!
I connected with the Mantra…
I AM. I AM. I AM.
“I” on the inhale. “AM” on the exhale. It’s my favorite mantra. I consider it a short and sweet form of a verse in the Holy Bible that always gives me peace.
BE STILL And KNOW that I AM GOD.
~Psalm 46:10
I then changed the Mantra. I added ONE Word.
I AM PEACE. I AM PEACE. I AM PEACE.
“I AM” on the inhale. “PEACE” on the exhale. I then thought… “Oh what a longing that must be for God/Source/Consciousness to finally see the people on earth at Peace!”
No more games. No more puzzles. No more confusion. No more trauma. No more suffering. No more isolation. No more inequality. No more racism. No more hatred. No more greed. No more division. No more wars. PEACE!!!
I then embraced Peace into my being. I pondered the idea that God so desires to see ALL the bits and pieces of ITSELF… the Grand Mosaic Puzzle Master… come together in a state of eternal Peace.
Suddenly two puzzle pieces emerged in the blackness of my mind. I saw them draw near to each other like magnets. I heard the click of a linkage as the pieces connected. I felt the energy of being solidly Linked IN. I watched more puzzles pieces appear and begin to connect. The process began speeding up naturally with perfect peace and ease.
I felt the expansion of Love and Joy in my heart as the puzzle was all coming together. God looked and saw what it had made. There were NO missing pieces. There was only Perfect Perpetual Peace. It was beyond GOOD. It was GREAAAAAAT!!!
The first law in thermodynamics is the law of energy conservation. It states that energy can be transformed from one form to another, but can neither be created nor destroyed. All energy is source energy. We are tiny drops in the endless sea of God’s creation that goes on unto infinity and can never be destroyed. God IS perfect love and peace.
May peace reign forever and ever and ever with the gentleness of a light spring shower on a warm sunny day. That’s when rainbows are revealed.
~Debra
Peace. Peace. Peace be unto us and unto ALL Living Beings.
~Swami Paramananda, Vedanta Centre founder, Cohasset, MA
To commune daily with God in deep meditation, and to carry His love and guidance with you into all your dutiful activities, is the way that leads to permanent peace and happiness.
Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me, or else believe Me for the sake of the works themselves. “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do…
~Jesus Christ (John 14:10) Prince of Peace
The Kingdom of God is Within YOU. ~Jesus Christ (Luke17:21)
What is REAL? I mean really? When it comes to quantum mechanics, nothing is real. Everything is in motion, continually transforming from one point to another with multiplicities of possibilities in between Point A to Point B. By the time energy in motion comes to exist as Point B, it has already transformed to another possibility being thought of during the transition from A to B.
So is there ever Really a Point B since the initial vision of Point B transforms with each step taken on the journey towards Point B. It would seem more Real to say we are always journeying from Point A to Point X… the Unknown.
In the world of computing, the asterisk is known as a wild card symbol to allow Unknown objects to be revealed. When I look at the asterisk (*), I can’t help but notice it’s an X overlaying an I. Perhaps we are symbolic of the “I” and “X” is the wild card spaces that exists and can only be revealed when we allow the unseen to be seen, the unfelt to be felt, and the unthought of to become thought.
What is it to be REAL? Authentic? Transparent? Is that an imagined state of being? Wide Open… Clear… See through like cellophane… Is that possible?
Who dares to be vulnerably raw and real? I mean who really likes digging in to SEE things about yourself that you don’t want to see, much less allow other to see. Why would we want to see them in others? Restriction. That’s why.
To withhold or deny the parts of us that we may call bad or ugly is to restrict the true, expansive freedom of expression of who we are when we are feeling and being our BEST. Expansion feels SO much better than restriction. Haven’t we had enough restrictions over the past several years?
So am I ever being fake? Or am I simply delayed when I’m not being authentic or living up to the potential dreams of possibilities I carry in my mental suitcase? Is it not clarity of sight when a moment arrives that we feel uncomfortable inside ourselves? There in That moment our consciousness is providing a compass of realization that a future Reality is something we desire more than our current one. Awareness allows the doors of other possibilities to be Possible.
I believe it is possible to live in an authentically real world if we give up resisting and restricting and allow ourselves and others to be real and transparent around us. Otherwise, we are only delaying and keeping authentic reality trapped by our inability to acknowledge it. Nor should we limit it from coming to fruition because we don’t necessarily like what we see from a small glimpse of a thought because we don’t yet understand the full picture. How could we? We haven’t allowed ourselves to experience it, perhaps because we are stuck in fear based awful-izing.
So what is transparency really? Is it the idea of a flawlessly clear human? What human is flawless? NONE. Every single one of us has flaws. It is part of the Human Condition. So is discovering our Awesomeness!!!
Have you not discovered something about yourself that you didn’t realize was within you at one point in your life? The way to Awesome is through the Awful. It isn’t always as awful as it seems to get there. In fact it can sometimes be Awe-Fully Wonderful!!!
Imagination is SO important! Yet even our imaginations can pale in comparison to what IS Possible in Reality. We just haven’t experienced it yet. It’s still behind the curtain as the unknown Point X or the wild card * space. What exists in the wild card space of consciousness that has yet to be experienced? I imagine it’s Awesomely WILD and WONDERFUL!!!
Are you looking out? Or are you looking in? The Wizard is within You. Our brains think the visionary thoughts. The heart moves energy of desire within towards the vision. Ultimately, it comes down to courage to push through fear and take action towards arriving at the next Point X.
In May 1944, my grandfather, Arthur Bornemann, was stationed in Washington D.C. as a United States Marine. There he met my grandmother Lois who was serving her church and was “kind” and fed him. He took a liking to her for this and they exchanged addresses. Recently, I was given the gift of the 100+ Love Letters he wrote to my grandmother during his time serving our Country. Apparently, she had an immediate liking to him as well since she saved the very first letter he ever wrote. It begins with…
“Dear Lois,
Remember me?”
As a child, I had always wanted to know what it was like for him fighting in wars, but he was too tight-lipped to talk about it. When he passed in 2016, I thought he had taken his stories to the grave with him. I now have been given this wonderful opportunity to finally hear his stories through the letters and I feel called to share them with the World.
I think it is important to give readers and listeners a true, first-hand account of one United States Marine’s experiences serving our Country during World War II. I did not learn until after his death that he was one of only two Marines to survive a deadly battle of Guadalcanal campaign. The campaign was the turning point in the war and the first major victory for the Allies. There is no doubt he witnessed the full horrors of War. It should be a telling journey.
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Once upon a time not very long ago, I had what I call a “God Shot” experience, the best kind of vaccine for my soul! It happened on my drive up a hill on a road I think of as the Green Mile of Quincy, a city known affectionately as “The Q” and also annoyingly known as the “City of Lights” since there are so many of them! The Green Mile is located on Quarry Street, which used to be 2 lanes in each direction for a total of 4 lanes. It is now reduced to a single lane in each direction with a new bicycle lane painted and barriers installed to protect the bike lane. At night, the barriers light up with reflectors shining out over the road that seem to keep going and going when you’re driving along side it. Unlike all the other light systems in Quincy, these lights are NOT there for stopping. It’s just Go and Green!!! On this particular drive, it was daytime though and I didn’t expect to see any lights shining back at me, and yet a Light stopped me. A woman. A total stranger.
She was sitting in wait, reading a book on a wall at the entrance to Avalon, a high-rise living complex. There were white, pink and purple flowers all around her in view at her feet. I was instantly captivated. She was a beautiful Living accent to the scene, dressed elegantly in all black so as not to take away from the colors of the flowers and instead complimented it perfectly. It was more than just how she was dressed though. It was her. She had an inner Light and its beauty was emitting from her Being with abundance, calling on me to capture it!
My heart was sparked with energy by what my eyes witnessed before me. As I drove past her the feeling of expansion in my heart fell to sadness and regret. The inner voice inside me said “Don’t neglect this moment! Go back and capture it! Listen to your Heart!”
I could not ignore the call. I turned the car around and drove back to her. I felt a bit of hesitation as I rolled the car to a stop and approached her. Another voice creeped in, the voice of doubt saying, “What if she doesn’t want her picture taken, you’re a total stranger!” Rather than drive away, I simply did the next right thing that came to mind. I rolled down my window, held up my camera and asked permission to take her picture.
She looked at me in astonishment and said “You want to take MY picture?”, as if she wasn’t worthy enough to capture and yet she SO was! Before I got the chance to even respond, she answered excitedly “Sure! You can take my picture! I will pose like I’m a model in New York!” Her Confusion was instantly replaced with a bit of Confidence!!!
I proceeded to get out of the car and cross the street. I only asked for one picture to keep of her beauty against the landscape. I had not intended for this to be a full-on photo shoot but she was having fun and starting posing away like the New York model she wanted to be in that moment! So I went with it and started to snap away like I was the professional photography I am not but sometimes dream to be.
She began to really enjoy herself and became more playful and creative with every pose. As she moved her body and as I moved around her trying to capture all angles, I could feel an energy building between us. She was chatting away as she moved telling me “I can do this and this!!” I echoed her energy back encouraging her with words like, “Yes, You go girl!, Yes, Yes, Yes!!! That’s Awesome! Keep going! You’re beautiful!” The energy between us was grand!!! I was intensely and awesomely Alive!!!
At the height of what seemed a Divine climax of energy, I said “What is your name?” She yelled proudly “Crystal! My name is Crystal with a C!” and points to her belt with a big C on it. I thought how perfect! Crystal! She was a Crystal Ball in my heart in this Moment.
Today, I look back on that day and the pictures of Crystal (below) and feel ALL the same energy in my heart for the Light that she is… a precious child of God willing to Live INTO the NOW moment with me. How divine it is when two sparks of Source energy, are open to allowing the Creator to create, witness and express the sweetness of his loving exchange through them. I know God would LOVE more of such moments. I would wager to bet that violence and all things ugly would fall away naturally if we listen and act in ALL the moments our heart gets captured by someone or something special to say or do.
It all starts by listening to YOU, the voice that matters most, the one within that speaks to you in silence when you’re open to seeing what can be seen in the Present moment. In that space, the “first” thought is usually the best One! The Gift!!!
The gratitude and love in my heart for Crystal is surely a gift of the most precious kind. FREE and Free-Spirited!!! I live with zero regret for honoring my heart-strings and daring to ask a simple question… “May I take your picture?” I can now look back on her pictures on ANY day to connect with the special Light who is Crystal of “Q” Land.
Here are pictures I captured of Crystal, my sister in the Spirit of God. May God’s blessings and goodness follow her all the days of her Life!!! Surely it will due to her willingness to Let Go and Let Loose the child within to play and pose for me… a Total Stranger.
Joined at the Heart ~ David Hasselhoff
A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us Like spirits at the source Within a silent driving force Love that reaches everywhere The energy from you is always there inside me too Bound by inner visions that we share I cut my finger and you feel all the pain You cry and I can hear your prayer Reading each other so close or apart Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us Like ships upon the tide We ride the waves and don’t collide I am you and you are me Asleep and on my own I never feel that I’m alone You’re the dream illusion that I see Holding each other at the altar of love Worshipping souls on bended knee Reading each other so close or apart Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart You know what I’m saying when I don’t make a sound I hear your thoughts and set them free Reading each other so close or apart Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us A light through the wall A pure crystal ball A mystical call between us
This is a true, first-hand account of the innermost thoughts of Art to his beloved Lois, written while serving our country as a United States Marine during World War II. My name is Debra and I am sharing the gifts of Art’s Love Letters. Art was my grandfather and Lois was my grandmother. It was 1944 and they were 21 years old when the letters began.
An entire week has transpired since the last letter that Art wrote. It appears Art did get the weekend pass he’d hoped to get but was not banking on until it was in his pocket.
The Letter Transcript
Wednesday, July 5, 1944
My Dearest Lois,
Received the first letter today and was it ever a lovely letter. Keep it up, Honey, you sure did a beautiful job on that one.
Makes me feel so wonderful to read you think I am okay. Really, Honey, I’m not good enough for you but if you feel that way about me it simply is lovely beyond words. All I’ll ever want to do, Lois, is make you happy and I know it will be that way always.
Sorry to hear about the talk you and Alice had but then I suppose she has her own way of looking at things. Personally, your perfectly correct in telling her she was afraid of married life. In fact, I think Alice thinks a little too much of herself and not of others. I think she is a swell girl but just has the wrong slant on things.
I can imagine how sleepy you were, Lois, and you had better get some very soon or I am going to worry about you. You must be glad to have that play out of the way now. The play plus me is some strain.
Honey, today I ran into some trouble. Thought that I was all over worrying about coming in late from Washington but this morning it broke. Somebody, and I know who it was, let it slip to the Gunner I was late coming back on the pass. Was called up for office hours and had quite a bawling out, also received two weeks restriction to the base. Not worried about that as I never go in town anyways but was plenty sore at the way it was done. Going to have it out with my “buddy” when I run into him. The Gunner is a real straight guy and I have no picks coming from him. Simply should not have happened if some big mouth had kept quiet. Did have enough money, Honey, just enough should I say. No worries about that as our checks will be here tomorrow.
Yes, Lois, hereafter I’ll have to get back on time. Easy to say here, but when I’m with you it is so terribly hard. If my Honey had not driven me out things would really have been bad. Darling, I so want to be with you all the time. If only we could be married so very soon. Guess I’ll have to hold off until you get your things together and I save a bit more money. Being at Cherry Point won’t be too bad and if I stay there any length of time you could live there, that is after we are married.
You said that right, Lois, parts of your letter did set me on fire. Lot of good it does me with you so far away. And then we have so long to wait. Good thing you have more self-control than I have. Well, anyway it is really something to look forward to, isn’t it?
I too hope the period isn’t around the next time. You still were your own sweet self, Honey, but it does keep us from doing some things. Not that I minded while up there as would never have known you were in the pink if you had not told me. Keeping track though aren’t you?
I’ll figure out that trip to Stanton on a map Lois, and let you know. It should be easier to go directly there so will find out about it.
Before I close out, do as those girls in the office said, stop thinking about me and eat something. Awfully sweet of you to say that Honey, but I do want you to eat so you’ll have your health.
Enough for today, Lois, will write again tomorrow. Oh yes, went sailing today, wishing you were along. Closed my eyes and thought about being in the canoe with you. Bye Honey.
With Love Always Yours, Art
PS: All the boys thought the bracelet was swell! So do I.
Questions, Conclusions and Commentary
Commentary: I find it interesting that Art feels “wonderful” to know that Lois thinks he is “okay”. Okay is sufficient and good enough to him even though he feels not good enough… Humanity’s “core wound”. I need to remember the next time I feel “not good enough” or feel I’m not doing enough, or spectacular enough that “okay” is okay and perfectly wonderful and to find gratitude in that just like Art did.
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God brought me on a meditation many years ago. He does that sometimes. I closed my eyes and I saw myself. I watched myself from above. I was not myself as I am today. I was a little girl, innocent and pure. I was walking in a secluded field surrounded by tall pine trees filled with the beauty of nature. Even though the sun was shining intensely, the sky was still a bright blue. The colors of everything around me were so vibrant. The harshness of the bright sun washed away nothing. I was so happy.
I met up with other children in the field. We all seemed about the same age. They approached me from different directions. A honey haired girl came from the left. Then a blond haired boy approached from the right. Two other children came walking together from the center of the field, a honey haired boy and a dark haired girl. Like the field, none of us were tainted by the harshness of suffering in this world, not yet anyway. We were open, free and uninhibited. We were all so happy.
We joined hands in the middle of the field and began skipping around in circles like we were playing “Ring Around the Rosie”, but nobody was falling down, falling in, or falling out of the circle. We were solidly joined and content to be playing, laughing and smiling up at the sky and at each other. We all glowed with joy, just like the sun in the sky.
I saw birds of different colors flying overhead above us, like rainbows flying across the sky. I saw animals in the field all around us, going about their business, happy and content just like us. Even the blades of grass and the trees surrounding us were swaying in the breeze, seemingly dancing and filled with joy. It was like heaven on earth for every living being in the field.
Then I and the other children stopped skipping in circles. All at once, we ran to the center of the circle and lifted our arms to the sky. A flock of white doves flew up and out of the center of our raised hands like magic. They flew all around us and weaved their flight in and out of the spaces between us, like angels in flight. Heaven had joined us.
Then we broke from the circle. No words were expressed, but each of us started walking in different directions, filled with a sense of joy and curiosity. Each of us was on a search for something in the field. I instinctively knew when I found what I was supposed to be looking for. It was a pure, white feather. None of its hairs were stuck together. It was perfection. I was so happy I had found it, and yet it felt like I had been drawn to it like a magnet, sitting in plain sight at the border of the field, waiting just for me. I walked back to the center of the field to see what the others had found.
The blond boy who had been on my right was already standing in the center of the field. He looked so proud to have been there first. He had something cupped in his hands but I could not see what it was. He was waiting for the others to return to the circle. I looked into his eyes and they shined with glee and excitement for what he’d found and held protectively in his hands.
The honey haired girl then joined us. She had a leaf in her hand, but it was no ordinary leaf. It was a magnificent maroon colored leaf, laced with bright orange and flecked with gems that shined light like stars, even in the broad daylight. She was overjoyed with her magical leaf that seemed to reflect what was inside of her waiting to shine to the world. I felt a sting of jealousy that her object was so magical compared to my plain white feather, but I quickly pushed the feeling aside and expressed a genuine congratulatory loving smile her way.
Then the honey haired boy came slowly sauntering to the circle. He was holding a simple, gray rock. I pondered to myself why he would have such a boring object, but he seemed quite content with his rock. Then a realization came upon me that the rock seemed a lot like him, solid and steady, unmoved just like a rock. Still, I felt a stirring of pain as if he should have something more significant. Nonetheless, I was happy for him that he was content with who he was.
I then looked at the blond haired boy. He seemed like he could not contain his object anymore, but the dark haired girl had not yet come back to the circle. I looked up across the field and couldn’t see her anywhere. When the two honey haired children weren’t looking, the boy let me peek into his hand. My breath escaped me by what I saw. It was a beautiful baby bird, stark royal blue with white angelic feathers. I looked at him with great joy for what I saw inside his hands. He looked so proud and happy and I was so happy for him. I wasn’t sure if he let me see it because he wanted to let me in on his secret, or if it was an attempt to give the bird a moment of space to see out, as if trying to keep it comfortable and content for a little bit longer.
Then I glanced up across the field. The dark haired girl was coming towards us cradling something in her arms. It was a fluffy white-haired bunny with black splotches. It looked so content in her arms and she seemed so happy to be lovingly caressing that bunny. I sensed the girl and her beloved bunny had quite a lot in common in their journey of life, so soft and vulnerable, a nervous twitching, and an instinctive nature to hop from here to there in self-preservation. Yet here, in this moment, the two of them displayed perfect peace and ease being together, filled with love for each other. Again, I felt a pang of jealousy inside of me. Both the blond boy and the dark haired girl had found living objects and mine was just a left behind fragment of something living. Yet I was sincerely happy for her as well.
Now that we were all joined again, we turned our attention to the blond haired boy. He was struggling trying to contain the item in his hand. I looked into his eyes expecting to see the excitement I’d seen earlier but it was replaced with fear. He did not want to open his hands. I knew in an instant what he was feeling. It had dawned on him that the moment he opened his hands, the baby bird would fly away and he would be left with nothing in his hands. I sensed it was so important to him to have that little bird, to have a precious object of his own. It pained me to watch his internal struggle.
The others began to get anxious. They started to encroach and crowd in around him, excitedly trying to coach him to open his hands. It made him more nervous and sweat began to break out on his brow. I saw anger come across his eyes. My breath became trapped as I watched him tighten his grip on the little baby bird. I could tell he felt a momentary instinct to kill that baby bird rather than let the others smother it by their seemingly demanding demeanors in his state of fright. I glanced in his eyes that were now welling up in tears. I saw deep pain calling out to me wondering what he should do. Everything in him did not want to hurt that baby bird, it was so priceless to him. I gave him a reassuring look of love and understanding, and I prayed to the universe for him to do the right thing.
In a sudden moment, he opened his hands and the beautiful little bird flew from his hands circling all around his head and then landed on his chest. The boy was so happy and relieved that tears of joy fell down his face. It wasn’t just tears that were falling from him. All his fears fell away as he watched the bird flying freely and safe from the others, even from himself. The fear that he would be left empty handed was no longer. The bird had become his friend, content to be with him.
Then we all sat down on the ground and put our objects in front of us in the circle. Everyone looked so happy with their items and to admire the others. Genuine joy was felt by all for each other, except for me. I still felt a pang in my heart for the honey haired boy with his simple rock. I sensed the others were hiding within them a feeling that their objects were better than his.
Then the boy picked up his rock and calmly and playfully tossed it back and forth between his hands as if it was a ball. He glanced at each of us as if waiting for attention reservedly, yet not wanting to be the center of attention. When he knew we were all looking, he opened the rock and showed us all the intricacies inside. There were crystal gems glistening bright light. Then he closed the rock into his hands and it became just a rock again. Then he opened it again and this time there were layers upon layers of colors like sediments in the soil. Once again, he cupped the rock in his hands hiding it from view and when he opened it the last time, there were puzzles upon puzzles hidden within the rock and only he had the answers on how to put it back together. The boy knew all along what was hidden in that rock. Yet he sat there humbly holding it content to have a simple rock. He was no fool.
Then I looked at my plain white feather again and I felt left out. The honey haired girl and boys had their magical items. The dark haired girl and blond boy had their living animals and I just had a plain, white lifeless feather. It looked so insignificant now and it had seemed so special when I found it. Deep within me I felt a searing ache of pain, but I kept it well hidden. Something inside me said not to show it, to just be happy for the others and I truly was.
Then God spoke to me from the sky and from within myself. No one seemed to hear him but me. He said to me “My child, the feather IS your object and couldn’t be more you. It’s the feather of a white dove and doves represent peace in my world. That is what you bring, this is Who You Are, and this is who you have always wanted to BE. Each little hair of that feather is precious and fragile just as you are to me. So take good care of that feather and treasure it as I treasure you.”
I wept because God knew me so well, yet I did not. I did not recognize the value of my object, nor the value of me, but God had revealed it all. It now meant the world to me that he chose that white feather for me and I wept even harder in gratitude for a God that is so knowing and good.
Days later in real life I would find myself walking through the field at the Snug Harbor school behind my home. Sitting on the edge of the field in plain sight was a white feather… just like the meditation… waiting for Me.
The White Feather from the field at Snug Harbor School, Quincy, Massachusetts (The “Q”) Found 3 Days Following the Meditation It was Magical!!!
I love God, sunsets, and the night sky. I desire the expression one feels when viewing such things to be spilled out onto paper… flowing like a river of tears… taking the reader deeper and deeper inside of themselves… to the place that hurts… the place no one touches… the place we don’t allow others… or even perhaps ourselves to touch… the place of a small space kept hidden… but feels safe enough to be felt when conveyed through the words, images and sounds of the creative artists God has gifted us with… over and over again… throughout Time and Space.
I really just want the whole world to have a good cry and get better again. It begins with me… writing this… feeling… crying… tears streaming with every word of expression… touching the space within me. This is what the space said to me…
I felt you. It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m sorry. I love you. I thank you. I forgive you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
The Calling 