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In Heaven With Elaine

January 19, 2011

I was just in the most beautiful place with Elaine, one of my most beloved friends, who went to be with God and her mother a little more than a year ago.   

I was sitting on a very narrow beach. The color and texture of the sand was so perfect. I was sitting contentedly enjoying its soothing, soft, claylike feel against my skin… digging my bare feet below the surface. The ocean was vast and wide stretching before me. It was the most beautiful shade of crystal clear turqoise blue. The sky was cloudless and bright blue and full of a lightness that lifted and expanded my heart… filling me with a sense of freedom and limitless possibilities… and then there was Elaine.

She stepped out behind a sea wall to my right.  She didn’t acknowledge me.  She was too taken with the beauty of the ocean herself to notice anyone sitting on the shoreline.  She stepped out into the water and I looked on in amazement not believing my eyes.  Was this a dream? Was she an apparition?  I watched as Elaine walked far out in the water but it was so shallow she never seemed to go below the height of her ankles in the water.  That didn’t seem to bother her.  She was dancing around in the water everywhere with the childlike delight she always had. She was so happy to be there and I sensed she hadn’t enjoyed this kind of thing in a long time.

I wanted to go out and join her but I was hesitant.  I didn’t want to break the moment of just watching her… of seeing her again.  It seemed more important to just enjoy watching her than to be part of the experience with her.  I had a sense that if I broke the air with my voice to call out to her, the whole scene might disappear.  So I just sat and watched… smiling in my heart for the joy that is Elaine… for the joy that she was experiencing. 

Then the water turned to ice and Elaine was wearing ice skates.  She was gliding around the ice everywhere still dressed in shorts and a tank top and the air was still warm.  I got curious and the desire of my heart to be with her was stronger than my hesitancy to just sit and watch.  I rose from my spot on the shore and noticed two other people sitting on the other side of the wall from where Elaine had come.  I sensed they were with her and had also come from the other side.  They didn’t speak to me but their eyes encouraged me to go be with her. 

I stepped out into the ice and skates magically appeared on my feet.  I pushed off and glided out to be with Elaine.  When I got near her, she glided past me with one leg extended out behind her and she smiled the biggest smile at me.  She didn’t seem amazed to see me at all.  She was just enjoying trying to skate like a professional and she was thrilled that I was her audience watching her do it.  I just stood there on the ice watching her glide past me multiple times in that fancy one-footed glide with her arms stretched out in perfect poses.  Then she said to me in that cocky, pushy yet joyful all at the same time way she had about her “What are you just standing there for girl? Come on! Try it!!!”

So I began to skate… slowly at first and she kept doing her fancy little poses skating all around me, smiling big smiles, enjoying herself immensely.  I let go of my insecurity on the skates, pushed off with force, and did a big one footed glide myself.  The two of us were out there on the ice doing fancy one-footed glides in big circles all around each other for what seemed like forever. 

Then we met in the middle of one of the big circles.  Our hands clasped and we twirled around each other laughing up at the bright blue sky and exchanging laughter and glances with each other.  Eventually our speed slowed down.  We embraced each other and said how glad we were to see each other again.  The hug with Elaine was the longest, intimate, most soul connected hugs I’ve ever had in my entire life.  Just writing about it now is bringing tears to my eyes. 

Although I was sleeping off my migraine and it was only a dream… in that brief moment of space and time in my mind… I was with my girl… my chickie… my beloved friend Elaine.  I was in Heaven.

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