"Q" Land Stories, Christian Inspiration, Life

The Crystal Light of “Q” Land

February 6, 2022

Once upon a time not very long ago, I had what I call a “God Shot” experience, the best kind of vaccine for my soul! It happened on my drive up a hill on a road I think of as the Green Mile of Quincy, a city known affectionately as “The Q” and also annoyingly known as the “City of Lights” since there are so many of them! The Green Mile is located on Quarry Street, which used to be 2 lanes in each direction for a total of 4 lanes. It is now reduced to a single lane in each direction with a new bicycle lane painted and barriers installed to protect the bike lane. At night, the barriers light up with reflectors shining out over the road that seem to keep going and going when you’re driving along side it. Unlike all the other light systems in Quincy, these lights are NOT there for stopping. It’s just Go and Green!!! On this particular drive, it was daytime though and I didn’t expect to see any lights shining back at me, and yet a Light stopped me. A woman. A total stranger.

She was sitting in wait, reading a book on a wall at the entrance to Avalon, a high-rise living complex. There were white, pink and purple flowers all around her in view at her feet. I was instantly captivated. She was a beautiful Living accent to the scene, dressed elegantly in all black so as not to take away from the colors of the flowers and instead complimented it perfectly. It was more than just how she was dressed though. It was her. She had an inner Light and its beauty was emitting from her Being with abundance, calling on me to capture it!

My heart was sparked with energy by what my eyes witnessed before me. As I drove past her the feeling of expansion in my heart fell to sadness and regret. The inner voice inside me said “Don’t neglect this moment! Go back and capture it! Listen to your Heart!”

I could not ignore the call. I turned the car around and drove back to her. I felt a bit of hesitation as I rolled the car to a stop and approached her. Another voice creeped in, the voice of doubt saying, “What if she doesn’t want her picture taken, you’re a total stranger!” Rather than drive away, I simply did the next right thing that came to mind. I rolled down my window, held up my camera and asked permission to take her picture.

She looked at me in astonishment and said “You want to take MY picture?”, as if she wasn’t worthy enough to capture and yet she SO was! Before I got the chance to even respond, she answered excitedly “Sure! You can take my picture! I will pose like I’m a model in New York!” Her Confusion was instantly replaced with a bit of Confidence!!!

I proceeded to get out of the car and cross the street. I only asked for one picture to keep of her beauty against the landscape. I had not intended for this to be a full-on photo shoot but she was having fun and starting posing away like the New York model she wanted to be in that moment! So I went with it and started to snap away like I was the professional photography I am not but sometimes dream to be.

She began to really enjoy herself and became more playful and creative with every pose. As she moved her body and as I moved around her trying to capture all angles, I could feel an energy building between us. She was chatting away as she moved telling me “I can do this and this!!” I echoed her energy back encouraging her with words like, “Yes, You go girl!, Yes, Yes, Yes!!! That’s Awesome! Keep going! You’re beautiful!” The energy between us was grand!!! I was intensely and awesomely Alive!!!

At the height of what seemed a Divine climax of energy, I said “What is your name?” She yelled proudly “Crystal! My name is Crystal with a C!” and points to her belt with a big C on it. I thought how perfect! Crystal! She was a Crystal Ball in my heart in this Moment.

Today, I look back on that day and the pictures of Crystal (below) and feel ALL the same energy in my heart for the Light that she is… a precious child of God willing to Live INTO the NOW moment with me. How divine it is when two sparks of Source energy, are open to allowing the Creator to create, witness and express the sweetness of his loving exchange through them. I know God would LOVE more of such moments. I would wager to bet that violence and all things ugly would fall away naturally if we listen and act in ALL the moments our heart gets captured by someone or something special to say or do.

It all starts by listening to YOU, the voice that matters most, the one within that speaks to you in silence when you’re open to seeing what can be seen in the Present moment. In that space, the “first” thought is usually the best One! The Gift!!!

The gratitude and love in my heart for Crystal is surely a gift of the most precious kind. FREE and Free-Spirited!!! I live with zero regret for honoring my heart-strings and daring to ask a simple question… “May I take your picture?” I can now look back on her pictures on ANY day to connect with the special Light who is Crystal of “Q” Land.

Here are pictures I captured of Crystal, my sister in the Spirit of God. May God’s blessings and goodness follow her all the days of her Life!!! Surely it will due to her willingness to Let Go and Let Loose the child within to play and pose for me… a Total Stranger.

Joined at the Heart ~ David Hasselhoff

A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
Like spirits at the source
Within a silent driving force
Love that reaches everywhere
The energy from you is always there inside me too
Bound by inner visions that we share
I cut my finger and you feel all the pain
You cry and I can hear your prayer
Reading each other so close or apart
Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart
Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
Like ships upon the tide
We ride the waves and don’t collide
I am you and you are me
Asleep and on my own
I never feel that I’m alone
You’re the dream illusion that I see
Holding each other at the altar of love
Worshipping souls on bended knee
Reading each other so close or apart
Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart
You know what I’m saying when I don’t make a sound
I hear your thoughts and set them free
Reading each other so close or apart
Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart
Two lovers (of God) joined at the heart
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us
A light through the wall
A pure crystal ball
A mystical call between us

Life

The Great Fall

June 29, 2011


Not too long ago I had what I call a major breakthrough. It was the beginning of a falling away of many thoughts, beliefs and patterns of living that were holding me hostage; too many to cover in just one blog. Not coincidentally, it was Fall when this happened. So I’m calling this The Great Fall.

You see… for years, I had been living my life with a HUGE sense of responsibility to help rouse the sleeping souls. What I mean by sleeping souls are those people who exist day in and day out… caught in traps of soul suffering and discontentment… missing out on All That Is present right here, right now….

  • Perfect Perpetual Peace
  • Ultimate Reverberating Joy
  • Abundant Love Beyond All Love
  • Complete Oneness in Essence with All Living Beings
  • Experiencing the Fullness of Your Being
  • Feeling Intensely Alive!!!
  • Truly Knowing The “All That Is”… GOD Within.

I’ve felt this. I’ve experienced this. I KNOW this. From the moment I experienced this in all its mystical and magnificent glory, my life has never been the same. The reaction that followed shortly thereafter was a sense of sorrow for all the people who don’t know this experience. After all, I didn’t know it… until I KNEW it.

I began to feel the weight of people’s suffering in this world on a very deep level. I’ve always had a compassionate heart but this was empathy in a way I had not experienced before. I carried it silently within me and there was an imperious urge to help the lost and suffering; to do anything and everything I can to help unblock people from their soul pain; to help them see and feel and KNOW the truth of what exists. For those who are near and dear to me such as my children, my goal was to minimize their pain; to do everything I could to prevent them from becoming blocked from the Light of their own Spirits. I was on a Mission.

Unfortunately and fortunately, I don’t live in this ecstatic state 24 hours a day 365 days a year. Otherwise, I might not even know suffering exists and wouldn’t have the heart to help. The truth is, I still experience my own periods of soul suffering. However, when I’m not lost in my own stuff or giving everything I have to work through it, I’ve been doing my best to give my all to help in the healing of others; or to share a glimpse of peace, joy, or love to people whom I cross paths with and pain I feel, even if our lives intersect for only a moment.

Although I believed I was making a difference all these years, it never quieted the urge within me. It only made it stronger. My heart ached deeper for the pain of other people… for their separation from the “All That Is”… from themselves.

What began as a Mission eventually grew into a dire desperation. It was as if I was hanging from a rope for dear life and the rope was tearing through the flesh of my palms. No matter how painful it got, I had to keep grasping and trying to help people, even at the expense of my own skin. I didn’t think anything was wrong with it. I believed I was following in the footsteps of a soul that walked this earth over 2000 years ago who gave his life to save others.

I finally reached a breaking point and at the same time, things were breaking loose within me to lead me into a healthier way of living and of treating myself more kindly. In the midst of all this breakage, I had a visual image of me and the life I had been living.

I saw myself swimming across the ocean with very long, very hard, very determined strokes trying to keep myself afloat and survive, and at the same time, reaching into the depths of the sea pulling up as many souls as I could along the way. 

I didn’t like what I saw. I felt overwhelming self-compassion and sadness for my own soul’s pain of desperation. The rope I’d been grasping onto tore straight through to my heart and I felt so much despair and confusion.

As usual when I’m overcome with emotional pain, I turned to music that expressed how I felt. I searched for the video of a song I’ve always loved called “I’d love to change the world” by Ten Years After. As I listened to the words which sang…”I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do” my heart was calling out to God with everything I had in me. I didn’t want to stop helping but something didn’t feel right, didn’t look right about that image of me in that ocean. I placed my burdens before God and then had a major breakthrough in my thought process.

I realized I wasn’t just trying to change the world; I was trying to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was trying to play God. God conveyed to me very clearly it was not my job and he doesn’t want me to feel that way, and as a matter of fact, he doesn’t even need my help. I was humbled. The world is not mine, it is God’s. He is in control not me. If he has done what he has done for me… then God’s grace is available to everyone else as well. I realized the sad truth that I just didn’t Trust God to do it. Wow… what a revelation! No wonder I had so many issues with Trust.

After listening to that song, the breakthrough was sealed. I meditated and let God guide it as always. He took me on a visual journey in my mind which sometimes happens to me in meditation. I saw myself swimming with all my might in that ocean again but then suddenly I stopped. I exhaled in surrender and slowly flipped over and moved into a back float. I saw myself being supported by the water…. by God’s love… holding me. The sun was beating down on me from the sky… the warmth of God’s love shining down on me. There were little ripples of waves glistening from the reflection of the sun all around me. Light, Love and Peace was all around me… above, below, everywhere… and I rested in him… with Trust.

So what’s changed? The intentions of my life are exactly the same, but I no longer feel the intensity of having a MIND that is constantly thinking about how to help at each and every moment yet feeling helpless on some level. I no longer have an unquenchable WILL determined to contribute in the healing of souls and feeling like that will isn’t truly making enough of a difference. Instead I have a HEART for all of this that is supported by my mind, my will, and my growing Trust in God… in Life… in Myself.

I still feel the pain of the lost, but what comes from my heart is love, compassion, and willingness to give what I have from a place of Peace and Trust in God, not out of sense of duty or of fear for the people I am trying to help. It’s a totally different experience. You can’t understand it, until you understand it. And no, I’m not always perfect at it, but I’m doing much better at it all the time and, as usual, God has been giving me many lessons on surrendering and trusting to further seal the deal.

Fear is like plaque that clogs the arteries of the heart. The flow just cannot come through to feed the rest of the body with blood if it exists. We must relax, trust, and have a completely open heart system to let God’s energy flow through us with peace and ease to help in the healing of the rest of God’s body. We can be much more effective in helping others in this way…. for this is how God’s energy flows to us… willingly… with no fear… no sense of obligation… no exertion and straining… just with Love.

Introverts

Reflections on Living an Inner Life… My River of Heaven… My Dharmavati

April 1, 2011

I am a very “quiet” person.  I bet alot of people would not know that about me because I have “quite” the voice on Facebook.  However, in the real world (whatever that is lol) I am reserved and spend alot of time in an inner life of the spirit, mind and heart.

I used to hate this about me. I used to wish to be more outgoing and a natural with social situations.  I envied people who were free spirits who could be the life of the party… humorous and making everybody laugh.  Meanwhile I was awkwardly uncomfortable with myself and very serious.  I hated my heart and that it was so vulnerable.  I felt like anyone could just shatter me with a word or a look… and often times it felt like they did.  My heart was so openly vulnerable that it would cause me to say sorry to you if YOU bumped into me so that my heart would not be wounded should you be offended for any reason by our bodies touching.  All of this caused me to isolate myself from the world even more. However, in isolating myself… I went deeper inside… and I found myself in a way I never would have imagined.

Today… I love that I am introspective and I thoroughly enjoy exploring my inner life.  I am just fine being by myself and quiet.  I’ve come to value me as I am.  I appreciate how God fashioned my personality to be.  I realize that my seriousness has alot to do with my depth and my quest for the things of meaning and value in life… and it does not mean that I don’t know how to have a good time, laugh or be humorous because I CAN be all those things too… especially now that I am comfortable in my own skin and don’t really care what people think of me and whether or they like me or not. 

In reflecting about the nature of my being a quiet person… I also realize it’s not that I don’t have anything to say… because I have a wealth of thoughts, ideas and emotions to express.  Sometimes it’s just that there isn’t anyone around in my life who is on a level that I feel like I can share my thoughts, ideas and emotions with. That’s why I love Facebook so much.  Because there is almost always another being on here that I can connect with at any time of the night or day who is somewhat on a level of consciousness of where I am… who is magically sharing on some topic that I had just been contemplating deeply upon.

And then there are those times when a person WILL come into my life that is a real body… who I feel completely at ease with for no apparent reason.  It’s as if my soul recognizes their soul… my consciousness just seems to understand who they are without words… and I am able to completely open up with them freely… and I discover a voice I did not know I had… or had forgotten about through lack of use.  There is no thought of vulnerability.  It’s the ultimate trust and connection of a soulmate… and it has nothing to do with “mating” on a physical level.  It’s entirely spiritual, mental, and emotional. 

There is just nothing like being able to share my thoughts, ideas and emotions with such a someone… To listen to them share their thoughts, ideas and emotions in return… To receive the wisdom of their inner being… and to exchange my inner wisdom with them.  It inspires a level of accountability within myself to reach higher, go deeper within, grow more expansively.  It’s a type of spiritual partnership that naturally enables me to move into the being God designed me to be… who I already am… but just haven’t quite fully discovered yet. It’s a “communication” of the most valuable kind.  I consider it a gift from God and I don’t take even a moment of such interactions for granted.  

As I write all this… I realize I miss someone who was a connection of this type… but that’s ok with me too.  My feeling this just shows me the value I place on such relationships of the spirit.  It’s the way my heart is conveying a sense of gratitude for those moments in time that I shared this type of a connection with that person… and those moments will remain forever timeless for me. 

And so I recognize that ultimately… it’s not about quantity when it comes to sharing my voice… my thoughts… my heart…  my soul… It’s about quality.  It’s about knowing when it’s worth breaking the beauty of silence.  Its about knowing… that when there is no other soul around to share myself with… that “I” am the most quality I can offer myself… for I know who I am today… and I love who I am. 

~Inspired by the Thought of the Day written by Allan Beveridge of Twin Powers.

Dreams

In Heaven With Elaine

January 19, 2011

I was just in the most beautiful place with Elaine, one of my most beloved friends, who went to be with God and her mother a little more than a year ago.   

I was sitting on a very narrow beach. The color and texture of the sand was so perfect. I was sitting contentedly enjoying its soothing, soft, claylike feel against my skin… digging my bare feet below the surface. The ocean was vast and wide stretching before me. It was the most beautiful shade of crystal clear turqoise blue. The sky was cloudless and bright blue and full of a lightness that lifted and expanded my heart… filling me with a sense of freedom and limitless possibilities… and then there was Elaine.

She stepped out behind a sea wall to my right.  She didn’t acknowledge me.  She was too taken with the beauty of the ocean herself to notice anyone sitting on the shoreline.  She stepped out into the water and I looked on in amazement not believing my eyes.  Was this a dream? Was she an apparition?  I watched as Elaine walked far out in the water but it was so shallow she never seemed to go below the height of her ankles in the water.  That didn’t seem to bother her.  She was dancing around in the water everywhere with the childlike delight she always had. She was so happy to be there and I sensed she hadn’t enjoyed this kind of thing in a long time.

I wanted to go out and join her but I was hesitant.  I didn’t want to break the moment of just watching her… of seeing her again.  It seemed more important to just enjoy watching her than to be part of the experience with her.  I had a sense that if I broke the air with my voice to call out to her, the whole scene might disappear.  So I just sat and watched… smiling in my heart for the joy that is Elaine… for the joy that she was experiencing. 

Then the water turned to ice and Elaine was wearing ice skates.  She was gliding around the ice everywhere still dressed in shorts and a tank top and the air was still warm.  I got curious and the desire of my heart to be with her was stronger than my hesitancy to just sit and watch.  I rose from my spot on the shore and noticed two other people sitting on the other side of the wall from where Elaine had come.  I sensed they were with her and had also come from the other side.  They didn’t speak to me but their eyes encouraged me to go be with her. 

I stepped out into the ice and skates magically appeared on my feet.  I pushed off and glided out to be with Elaine.  When I got near her, she glided past me with one leg extended out behind her and she smiled the biggest smile at me.  She didn’t seem amazed to see me at all.  She was just enjoying trying to skate like a professional and she was thrilled that I was her audience watching her do it.  I just stood there on the ice watching her glide past me multiple times in that fancy one-footed glide with her arms stretched out in perfect poses.  Then she said to me in that cocky, pushy yet joyful all at the same time way she had about her “What are you just standing there for girl? Come on! Try it!!!”

So I began to skate… slowly at first and she kept doing her fancy little poses skating all around me, smiling big smiles, enjoying herself immensely.  I let go of my insecurity on the skates, pushed off with force, and did a big one footed glide myself.  The two of us were out there on the ice doing fancy one-footed glides in big circles all around each other for what seemed like forever. 

Then we met in the middle of one of the big circles.  Our hands clasped and we twirled around each other laughing up at the bright blue sky and exchanging laughter and glances with each other.  Eventually our speed slowed down.  We embraced each other and said how glad we were to see each other again.  The hug with Elaine was the longest, intimate, most soul connected hugs I’ve ever had in my entire life.  Just writing about it now is bringing tears to my eyes. 

Although I was sleeping off my migraine and it was only a dream… in that brief moment of space and time in my mind… I was with my girl… my chickie… my beloved friend Elaine.  I was in Heaven.