Pictures recently came up in Facebook memories of my children at the annual Memorial Day ceremony performed in front of the elementary school behind my house. The patriotism displayed by the outfits, songs sung and flags held in the youth was inspiring to me. The pictures were so meaningful, I vowed to go to the school today to capture pictures of our current youth.
As I worked from home, I suddenly heard the Taps trumpet call blaring. I immediately grabbed my camera and ran to the school. I was heart-broken to find there was only a small group of children in attendance.
Apparently, today is also “standardized testing” day. The small group represented the kindergarteners not required to perform such tests. All other students were inside the school performing testing, which I imagine they will never remember taking. I am sure both of my kids have memories of the day in their youth when they gathered around the flagpole with classmates of all ages in camaraderie to honor those who served our Country to establish our precious freedoms.
While it was a disappointing moment, my sprint to the school was not a wasted trip. A beloved friend, Stephen Fowles, was there as part of the ceremonial event. I hugged him immediately. My neighbor, Quincy Police officer Bill Mitchell was also a warm, friendly face in attendance. I asked him to kindly snap a photo of myself and Steve.
I adore this man. People like him show up because it matters for us to recognize and appreciate all of the sacrifices that have been made by our veterans for our Freedom. It is unfortunate to me there was not better planning to allow all the children to experience what Patriotism feels like. The weekend has only just begun, so hopefully there will be other opportunities for them to do so.
If children are to be educated to understand the true principle of patriotism, their mother must be a patriot.
Roe vs. Wade. The ultimate decision that gave women the Choice to navigate the difficult waters of facing child birth. How long must we row before the light dawns and we wade out into new waters for our women and our children? Is the problem the Choice? Or is it about the conditions that lead a woman to Choose?
I was there once. A young 19 something with an aspiring career before me… and pregnant. It was clear to me that if I wanted the child, I would have to do it alone. The father wanted no part of the child or raising it. He already had 3 children and wasn’t doing much financially, emotionally or physically to provide for any of them. I KNEW it was going to be solely on me as the bearer of the child.
I saw no way for me to provide for the child. I mean, I could have given up my job, the only source of income I had to give the child an adequate future. Then what? Struggle to survive and provide some semblance of a poverty-stricken future for the child? It seemed irresponsible for me to choose to bring the child into such an existence. I chose to abort. I regretted it Deeply.
The problem was not that I didn’t want the child. I truly did. The problem was societal systems were not designed with a mom or a child’s need in mind. That needs to change. I watched my daughter raise her baby girl the first many months of my granddaughter’s life without any physical, financial, or emotional support from the father for reasons that are not important to go into here. I witnessed her reach a Choice point.
She was pregnant with a second child. I watched her tears of fears of how will she possibly do it with TWO children?!?! Despite those tears, I heard her say I cannot possibly give up this child’s life! Why? Because of LOVE. She so loved her own brother and appreciated all of their memories together as small children. She could not possibly selfishly steal the experience of a sibling from her daughter. She did not make the same mistake as me and I am proud of her Choice! I would not have this beautiful baby grandson had she not made the Choice for his life.
Here is the Right Choice. We can CHOOSE to do better for our women and our children. We can CHOOSE to make it affordable to raise children. We can CHOOSE to develop systems that are supportive financially and emotionally to the raising of a precious child’s life.
It is NOT an easy choice to stay at home and raise your children, struggle financially and often times have no other children to interact with unless you have another. Nor is it an easy choice to send your child off to day care to spend the majority of their day with another woman, or man, while you spend the majority of your time working to financially support the child with BASIC needs with the astronomical cost of daycare. Never mind all the extras we want to give our children so they can be well-educated, well-rounded children with a strong sense of WELL-BEING.
I once witnessed Marianne Williamson give an informal poll to the listeners at one of her campaign talks. She asked the question… “How many people in this audience are not having children because they cannot afford to?” The hands that went up were overwhelming to me. My heart broke for the women in the audience and men who also raised their hands alongside their partner whose other hand they held endearingly. We come here to experience the beauty of Life and to expand that experience for others. Yet the current environment is so difficult we have people whose only heart’s desire in life cannot even be realized… to have a child. I FELT the weight of their longing.
I think a “formal” poll needs to be administered posing the same question Marianne asked, along with other questions, such as what are the barriers to your ability to provide for and raise a healthy child. Let’s focus on the solutions to those poll questions. Let’s stop focusing on band-aid laws put into place to avoid lives being lost through illegal and legal abortions. Face it! They were happening illegally because women were facing a choice that seemed an irresponsible and impossible choice to make. Well, the SAME conditions exist today. Let’s BE responsible and make it Possible for families to flourish!
God brought me on a meditation many years ago. He does that sometimes. I closed my eyes and I saw myself. I watched myself from above. I was not myself as I am today. I was a little girl, innocent and pure. I was walking in a secluded field surrounded by tall pine trees filled with the beauty of nature. Even though the sun was shining intensely, the sky was still a bright blue. The colors of everything around me were so vibrant. The harshness of the bright sun washed away nothing. I was so happy.
I met up with other children in the field. We all seemed about the same age. They approached me from different directions. A honey haired girl came from the left. Then a blond haired boy approached from the right. Two other children came walking together from the center of the field, a honey haired boy and a dark haired girl. Like the field, none of us were tainted by the harshness of suffering in this world, not yet anyway. We were open, free and uninhibited. We were all so happy.
We joined hands in the middle of the field and began skipping around in circles like we were playing “Ring Around the Rosie”, but nobody was falling down, falling in, or falling out of the circle. We were solidly joined and content to be playing, laughing and smiling up at the sky and at each other. We all glowed with joy, just like the sun in the sky.
I saw birds of different colors flying overhead above us, like rainbows flying across the sky. I saw animals in the field all around us, going about their business, happy and content just like us. Even the blades of grass and the trees surrounding us were swaying in the breeze, seemingly dancing and filled with joy. It was like heaven on earth for every living being in the field.
Then I and the other children stopped skipping in circles. All at once, we ran to the center of the circle and lifted our arms to the sky. A flock of white doves flew up and out of the center of our raised hands like magic. They flew all around us and weaved their flight in and out of the spaces between us, like angels in flight. Heaven had joined us.
Then we broke from the circle. No words were expressed, but each of us started walking in different directions, filled with a sense of joy and curiosity. Each of us was on a search for something in the field. I instinctively knew when I found what I was supposed to be looking for. It was a pure, white feather. None of its hairs were stuck together. It was perfection. I was so happy I had found it, and yet it felt like I had been drawn to it like a magnet, sitting in plain sight at the border of the field, waiting just for me. I walked back to the center of the field to see what the others had found.
The blond boy who had been on my right was already standing in the center of the field. He looked so proud to have been there first. He had something cupped in his hands but I could not see what it was. He was waiting for the others to return to the circle. I looked into his eyes and they shined with glee and excitement for what he’d found and held protectively in his hands.
The honey haired girl then joined us. She had a leaf in her hand, but it was no ordinary leaf. It was a magnificent maroon colored leaf, laced with bright orange and flecked with gems that shined light like stars, even in the broad daylight. She was overjoyed with her magical leaf that seemed to reflect what was inside of her waiting to shine to the world. I felt a sting of jealousy that her object was so magical compared to my plain white feather, but I quickly pushed the feeling aside and expressed a genuine congratulatory loving smile her way.
Then the honey haired boy came slowly sauntering to the circle. He was holding a simple, gray rock. I pondered to myself why he would have such a boring object, but he seemed quite content with his rock. Then a realization came upon me that the rock seemed a lot like him, solid and steady, unmoved just like a rock. Still, I felt a stirring of pain as if he should have something more significant. Nonetheless, I was happy for him that he was content with who he was.
I then looked at the blond haired boy. He seemed like he could not contain his object anymore, but the dark haired girl had not yet come back to the circle. I looked up across the field and couldn’t see her anywhere. When the two honey haired children weren’t looking, the boy let me peek into his hand. My breath escaped me by what I saw. It was a beautiful baby bird, stark royal blue with white angelic feathers. I looked at him with great joy for what I saw inside his hands. He looked so proud and happy and I was so happy for him. I wasn’t sure if he let me see it because he wanted to let me in on his secret, or if it was an attempt to give the bird a moment of space to see out, as if trying to keep it comfortable and content for a little bit longer.
Then I glanced up across the field. The dark haired girl was coming towards us cradling something in her arms. It was a fluffy white-haired bunny with black splotches. It looked so content in her arms and she seemed so happy to be lovingly caressing that bunny. I sensed the girl and her beloved bunny had quite a lot in common in their journey of life, so soft and vulnerable, a nervous twitching, and an instinctive nature to hop from here to there in self-preservation. Yet here, in this moment, the two of them displayed perfect peace and ease being together, filled with love for each other. Again, I felt a pang of jealousy inside of me. Both the blond boy and the dark haired girl had found living objects and mine was just a left behind fragment of something living. Yet I was sincerely happy for her as well.
Now that we were all joined again, we turned our attention to the blond haired boy. He was struggling trying to contain the item in his hand. I looked into his eyes expecting to see the excitement I’d seen earlier but it was replaced with fear. He did not want to open his hands. I knew in an instant what he was feeling. It had dawned on him that the moment he opened his hands, the baby bird would fly away and he would be left with nothing in his hands. I sensed it was so important to him to have that little bird, to have a precious object of his own. It pained me to watch his internal struggle.
The others began to get anxious. They started to encroach and crowd in around him, excitedly trying to coach him to open his hands. It made him more nervous and sweat began to break out on his brow. I saw anger come across his eyes. My breath became trapped as I watched him tighten his grip on the little baby bird. I could tell he felt a momentary instinct to kill that baby bird rather than let the others smother it by their seemingly demanding demeanors in his state of fright. I glanced in his eyes that were now welling up in tears. I saw deep pain calling out to me wondering what he should do. Everything in him did not want to hurt that baby bird, it was so priceless to him. I gave him a reassuring look of love and understanding, and I prayed to the universe for him to do the right thing.
In a sudden moment, he opened his hands and the beautiful little bird flew from his hands circling all around his head and then landed on his chest. The boy was so happy and relieved that tears of joy fell down his face. It wasn’t just tears that were falling from him. All his fears fell away as he watched the bird flying freely and safe from the others, even from himself. The fear that he would be left empty handed was no longer. The bird had become his friend, content to be with him.
Then we all sat down on the ground and put our objects in front of us in the circle. Everyone looked so happy with their items and to admire the others. Genuine joy was felt by all for each other, except for me. I still felt a pang in my heart for the honey haired boy with his simple rock. I sensed the others were hiding within them a feeling that their objects were better than his.
Then the boy picked up his rock and calmly and playfully tossed it back and forth between his hands as if it was a ball. He glanced at each of us as if waiting for attention reservedly, yet not wanting to be the center of attention. When he knew we were all looking, he opened the rock and showed us all the intricacies inside. There were crystal gems glistening bright light. Then he closed the rock into his hands and it became just a rock again. Then he opened it again and this time there were layers upon layers of colors like sediments in the soil. Once again, he cupped the rock in his hands hiding it from view and when he opened it the last time, there were puzzles upon puzzles hidden within the rock and only he had the answers on how to put it back together. The boy knew all along what was hidden in that rock. Yet he sat there humbly holding it content to have a simple rock. He was no fool.
Then I looked at my plain white feather again and I felt left out. The honey haired girl and boys had their magical items. The dark haired girl and blond boy had their living animals and I just had a plain, white lifeless feather. It looked so insignificant now and it had seemed so special when I found it. Deep within me I felt a searing ache of pain, but I kept it well hidden. Something inside me said not to show it, to just be happy for the others and I truly was.
Then God spoke to me from the sky and from within myself. No one seemed to hear him but me. He said to me “My child, the feather IS your object and couldn’t be more you. It’s the feather of a white dove and doves represent peace in my world. That is what you bring, this is Who You Are, and this is who you have always wanted to BE. Each little hair of that feather is precious and fragile just as you are to me. So take good care of that feather and treasure it as I treasure you.”
I wept because God knew me so well, yet I did not. I did not recognize the value of my object, nor the value of me, but God had revealed it all. It now meant the world to me that he chose that white feather for me and I wept even harder in gratitude for a God that is so knowing and good.
Days later in real life I would find myself walking through the field at the Snug Harbor school behind my home. Sitting on the edge of the field in plain sight was a white feather… just like the meditation… waiting for Me.
They are all children in the New Earth. Wise. Compassionate. Cooperative. Ever-expanding in Expressive, Bountiful, Beautiful, Joyous, Playful, Loving Hearts. Everything Looks and Feels Magical. Just like current earth, the scene reflects the internal tempo of the Earth’s inhabitants, and the new earth is Beaming with the Joy and Love that radiates out from all of the pure-hearted children.
There is no need to know the opposite, or duality, in order to appreciate and experience all that is Good, Wholesome, Pure and Magical. This was only something we longed to experience so we could love more completely when we get here. There are no more “love stories” necessary because love is no longer a story. Love IS. There is no longing for love, only to express love more deeply and joyfully. Love is realized.
Nobody feels less than, ugly or bad. Nobody wants to manipulate, control or harm anyone else. There is a very deep and inner reverence for the preciousness of each other’s souls. Everyone knows the Magnificence of their true worth and value. Everyone is appreciated for their unique and special gifts and nobody’s gift is more meaningful. They are ALL necessary to create the cooperative community of harmony that exists on the New Earth.
There is no concept of dishonesty because there is NO fear there, only Love, and ALL dishonesty is born from fear-based thinking. In fact, we are not even mainly thinking beings anymore. We are much more feeling beings. Every thought possible here has already existed and been thought of. We have outplayed all of the fear-based records. We have travelled down every rabbit hole we could think of and boy do we have some great story tellers. They have given us a plethora of material to push us to the point where we are now. Tired. Done. Ready.
I feel, in a sense, we are at a Last Supper point of sorts. We are all just passing around the last of what remains of the delicate delicacies of fear-based experiences here that have caused our own individual feelings of sorrow, suffering, devastation, gripping fear, mistrust, anger, and rage… to the point our inner collective tempo is screaming out with all of our beings that this fucking hurts!!! We don’t want this anymore. We are Ready for a New Earth. Let it BE…. Mightily and Gently So.