Tonight I meditated with Whim Hof breathing. It’s like rocket fuel for the soul to experience direct connection to Source. The Energy is simply Amazing!!!
I connected with the Mantra…
I AM. I AM. I AM.
“I” on the inhale. “AM” on the exhale. It’s my favorite mantra. I consider it a short and sweet form of a verse in the Holy Bible that always gives me peace.
BE STILL And KNOW that I AM GOD.
~Psalm 46:10
I then changed the Mantra. I added ONE Word.
I AM PEACE. I AM PEACE. I AM PEACE.
“I AM” on the inhale. “PEACE” on the exhale. I then thought… “Oh what a longing that must be for God/Source/Consciousness to finally see the people on earth at Peace!”
No more games. No more puzzles. No more confusion. No more trauma. No more suffering. No more isolation. No more inequality. No more racism. No more hatred. No more greed. No more division. No more wars. PEACE!!!
I then embraced Peace into my being. I pondered the idea that God so desires to see ALL the bits and pieces of ITSELF… the Grand Mosaic Puzzle Master… come together in a state of eternal Peace.
Suddenly two puzzle pieces emerged in the blackness of my mind. I saw them draw near to each other like magnets. I heard the click of a linkage as the pieces connected. I felt the energy of being solidly Linked IN. I watched more puzzles pieces appear and begin to connect. The process began speeding up naturally with perfect peace and ease.
I felt the expansion of Love and Joy in my heart as the puzzle was all coming together. God looked and saw what it had made. There were NO missing pieces. There was only Perfect Perpetual Peace. It was beyond GOOD. It was GREAAAAAAT!!!
The first law in thermodynamics is the law of energy conservation. It states that energy can be transformed from one form to another, but can neither be created nor destroyed. All energy is source energy. We are tiny drops in the endless sea of God’s creation that goes on unto infinity and can never be destroyed. God IS perfect love and peace.
May peace reign forever and ever and ever with the gentleness of a light spring shower on a warm sunny day. That’s when rainbows are revealed.
~Debra
Peace. Peace. Peace be unto us and unto ALL Living Beings.
~Swami Paramananda, Vedanta Centre founder, Cohasset, MA
To commune daily with God in deep meditation, and to carry His love and guidance with you into all your dutiful activities, is the way that leads to permanent peace and happiness.
Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works. Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me, or else believe Me for the sake of the works themselves. “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do…
~Jesus Christ (John 14:10) Prince of Peace
The Kingdom of God is Within YOU. ~Jesus Christ (Luke17:21)
God brought me on a meditation many years ago. He does that sometimes. I closed my eyes and I saw myself. I watched myself from above. I was not myself as I am today. I was a little girl, innocent and pure. I was walking in a secluded field surrounded by tall pine trees filled with the beauty of nature. Even though the sun was shining intensely, the sky was still a bright blue. The colors of everything around me were so vibrant. The harshness of the bright sun washed away nothing. I was so happy.
I met up with other children in the field. We all seemed about the same age. They approached me from different directions. A honey haired girl came from the left. Then a blond haired boy approached from the right. Two other children came walking together from the center of the field, a honey haired boy and a dark haired girl. Like the field, none of us were tainted by the harshness of suffering in this world, not yet anyway. We were open, free and uninhibited. We were all so happy.
We joined hands in the middle of the field and began skipping around in circles like we were playing “Ring Around the Rosie”, but nobody was falling down, falling in, or falling out of the circle. We were solidly joined and content to be playing, laughing and smiling up at the sky and at each other. We all glowed with joy, just like the sun in the sky.
I saw birds of different colors flying overhead above us, like rainbows flying across the sky. I saw animals in the field all around us, going about their business, happy and content just like us. Even the blades of grass and the trees surrounding us were swaying in the breeze, seemingly dancing and filled with joy. It was like heaven on earth for every living being in the field.
Then I and the other children stopped skipping in circles. All at once, we ran to the center of the circle and lifted our arms to the sky. A flock of white doves flew up and out of the center of our raised hands like magic. They flew all around us and weaved their flight in and out of the spaces between us, like angels in flight. Heaven had joined us.
Then we broke from the circle. No words were expressed, but each of us started walking in different directions, filled with a sense of joy and curiosity. Each of us was on a search for something in the field. I instinctively knew when I found what I was supposed to be looking for. It was a pure, white feather. None of its hairs were stuck together. It was perfection. I was so happy I had found it, and yet it felt like I had been drawn to it like a magnet, sitting in plain sight at the border of the field, waiting just for me. I walked back to the center of the field to see what the others had found.
The blond boy who had been on my right was already standing in the center of the field. He looked so proud to have been there first. He had something cupped in his hands but I could not see what it was. He was waiting for the others to return to the circle. I looked into his eyes and they shined with glee and excitement for what he’d found and held protectively in his hands.
The honey haired girl then joined us. She had a leaf in her hand, but it was no ordinary leaf. It was a magnificent maroon colored leaf, laced with bright orange and flecked with gems that shined light like stars, even in the broad daylight. She was overjoyed with her magical leaf that seemed to reflect what was inside of her waiting to shine to the world. I felt a sting of jealousy that her object was so magical compared to my plain white feather, but I quickly pushed the feeling aside and expressed a genuine congratulatory loving smile her way.
Then the honey haired boy came slowly sauntering to the circle. He was holding a simple, gray rock. I pondered to myself why he would have such a boring object, but he seemed quite content with his rock. Then a realization came upon me that the rock seemed a lot like him, solid and steady, unmoved just like a rock. Still, I felt a stirring of pain as if he should have something more significant. Nonetheless, I was happy for him that he was content with who he was.
I then looked at the blond haired boy. He seemed like he could not contain his object anymore, but the dark haired girl had not yet come back to the circle. I looked up across the field and couldn’t see her anywhere. When the two honey haired children weren’t looking, the boy let me peek into his hand. My breath escaped me by what I saw. It was a beautiful baby bird, stark royal blue with white angelic feathers. I looked at him with great joy for what I saw inside his hands. He looked so proud and happy and I was so happy for him. I wasn’t sure if he let me see it because he wanted to let me in on his secret, or if it was an attempt to give the bird a moment of space to see out, as if trying to keep it comfortable and content for a little bit longer.
Then I glanced up across the field. The dark haired girl was coming towards us cradling something in her arms. It was a fluffy white-haired bunny with black splotches. It looked so content in her arms and she seemed so happy to be lovingly caressing that bunny. I sensed the girl and her beloved bunny had quite a lot in common in their journey of life, so soft and vulnerable, a nervous twitching, and an instinctive nature to hop from here to there in self-preservation. Yet here, in this moment, the two of them displayed perfect peace and ease being together, filled with love for each other. Again, I felt a pang of jealousy inside of me. Both the blond boy and the dark haired girl had found living objects and mine was just a left behind fragment of something living. Yet I was sincerely happy for her as well.
Now that we were all joined again, we turned our attention to the blond haired boy. He was struggling trying to contain the item in his hand. I looked into his eyes expecting to see the excitement I’d seen earlier but it was replaced with fear. He did not want to open his hands. I knew in an instant what he was feeling. It had dawned on him that the moment he opened his hands, the baby bird would fly away and he would be left with nothing in his hands. I sensed it was so important to him to have that little bird, to have a precious object of his own. It pained me to watch his internal struggle.
The others began to get anxious. They started to encroach and crowd in around him, excitedly trying to coach him to open his hands. It made him more nervous and sweat began to break out on his brow. I saw anger come across his eyes. My breath became trapped as I watched him tighten his grip on the little baby bird. I could tell he felt a momentary instinct to kill that baby bird rather than let the others smother it by their seemingly demanding demeanors in his state of fright. I glanced in his eyes that were now welling up in tears. I saw deep pain calling out to me wondering what he should do. Everything in him did not want to hurt that baby bird, it was so priceless to him. I gave him a reassuring look of love and understanding, and I prayed to the universe for him to do the right thing.
In a sudden moment, he opened his hands and the beautiful little bird flew from his hands circling all around his head and then landed on his chest. The boy was so happy and relieved that tears of joy fell down his face. It wasn’t just tears that were falling from him. All his fears fell away as he watched the bird flying freely and safe from the others, even from himself. The fear that he would be left empty handed was no longer. The bird had become his friend, content to be with him.
Then we all sat down on the ground and put our objects in front of us in the circle. Everyone looked so happy with their items and to admire the others. Genuine joy was felt by all for each other, except for me. I still felt a pang in my heart for the honey haired boy with his simple rock. I sensed the others were hiding within them a feeling that their objects were better than his.
Then the boy picked up his rock and calmly and playfully tossed it back and forth between his hands as if it was a ball. He glanced at each of us as if waiting for attention reservedly, yet not wanting to be the center of attention. When he knew we were all looking, he opened the rock and showed us all the intricacies inside. There were crystal gems glistening bright light. Then he closed the rock into his hands and it became just a rock again. Then he opened it again and this time there were layers upon layers of colors like sediments in the soil. Once again, he cupped the rock in his hands hiding it from view and when he opened it the last time, there were puzzles upon puzzles hidden within the rock and only he had the answers on how to put it back together. The boy knew all along what was hidden in that rock. Yet he sat there humbly holding it content to have a simple rock. He was no fool.
Then I looked at my plain white feather again and I felt left out. The honey haired girl and boys had their magical items. The dark haired girl and blond boy had their living animals and I just had a plain, white lifeless feather. It looked so insignificant now and it had seemed so special when I found it. Deep within me I felt a searing ache of pain, but I kept it well hidden. Something inside me said not to show it, to just be happy for the others and I truly was.
Then God spoke to me from the sky and from within myself. No one seemed to hear him but me. He said to me “My child, the feather IS your object and couldn’t be more you. It’s the feather of a white dove and doves represent peace in my world. That is what you bring, this is Who You Are, and this is who you have always wanted to BE. Each little hair of that feather is precious and fragile just as you are to me. So take good care of that feather and treasure it as I treasure you.”
I wept because God knew me so well, yet I did not. I did not recognize the value of my object, nor the value of me, but God had revealed it all. It now meant the world to me that he chose that white feather for me and I wept even harder in gratitude for a God that is so knowing and good.
Days later in real life I would find myself walking through the field at the Snug Harbor school behind my home. Sitting on the edge of the field in plain sight was a white feather… just like the meditation… waiting for Me.
The White Feather from the field at Snug Harbor School, Quincy, Massachusetts (The “Q”) Found 3 Days Following the Meditation It was Magical!!!
With all the wind this weekend, I felt the need to go back and read a blog I wrote almost 10 years ago called When the Wind of Change Calls. At the time, I had been struggling with making my own personal change. After reading the story and reflecting on the global discontentment, I ponder if…
🌬 We are fully awake in the realization we’ve not been living as we are intended to.
🌬 We have exceeded the limitations for what we will accept for our life and humanity.
🌬 We have been engaging in long windy discussions for far too long on social media.
🌬 We have had enough of the insanity known as Step 2 in recovery.
🌬 We are finally ready to surrender known as Step 3 in recovery.
Wind is energy. Like all other elements… Like seeks Like. Water droplets find each other to form rivers and humans find others with their same vibe to form tribes. The wind seems to rage like a reflection of what I see on social media. Clouds are now scarier than I have ever seen them in my lifetime. Have we had enough or are we going to keep going this way destroying hearts, humanity and planet Earth?
I think about the stillness back in early March when COVID hit and all was initially shut down. There was barely any movement in the world and it was like we were all holding our breath on the edge of our seat wondering where it was all going. The winds were silent. It was sunny and still and the skies did not cry rain. There was a Peace but unfortunately it was not a lasting peace.
Perhaps for lasting peace to occur, we need to sit down, get still, be quiet, hit our knees in our hearts and surrender trying to control it by talking about it. Perhaps it is time for each of us to go within and feel and heal our own trauma that adds Energy to the global Winds of unrest.
If you haven’t experienced trauma before 2020, my guess is you have now. It can be debilitating. It hurts physically and emotionally. Hurt people, hurt people. We’ve never had this many walking weapons aimed at each other and we don’t even realize WE are the weapons. Any time we are not feeling in accordance with Peace, we are perpetuating Pain.
Insanity is not just some idea of being wrapped up in a mental institution in a padded room. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again excepting different results. It cannot be fixed with an election or a person unless the person is You being willing. I AM.
I want Mind, Body & Soul Health for All!!! ❤️ I want Real Inner Childlike Happiness for All!!! 👧 I have Hope for Humanity… Still!!! 🌈
Despite the intense winds, our silver lining is the Sun has been shining and providing lots of warmth to get out and enjoy nature. Nature is healing naturally.
“The time you take in between the recognition that you need to make a change and when you actually make it, is really nothing other than you… trying to control it.” ~Debra
Not too long ago I had what I call a major breakthrough. It was the beginning of a falling away of many thoughts, beliefs and patterns of living that were holding me hostage; too many to cover in just one blog. Not coincidentally, it was Fall when this happened. So I’m calling this The Great Fall.
You see… for years, I had been living my life with a HUGE sense of responsibility to help rouse the sleeping souls. What I mean by sleeping souls are those people who exist day in and day out… caught in traps of soul suffering and discontentment… missing out on All That Is present right here, right now….
Perfect Perpetual Peace
Ultimate Reverberating Joy
Abundant Love Beyond All Love
Complete Oneness in Essence with All Living Beings
Experiencing the Fullness of Your Being
Feeling Intensely Alive!!!
Truly Knowing The “All That Is”… GOD Within.
I’ve felt this. I’ve experienced this. I KNOW this. From the moment I experienced this in all its mystical and magnificent glory, my life has never been the same. The reaction that followed shortly thereafter was a sense of sorrow for all the people who don’t know this experience. After all, I didn’t know it… until I KNEW it.
I began to feel the weight of people’s suffering in this world on a very deep level. I’ve always had a compassionate heart but this was empathy in a way I had not experienced before. I carried it silently within me and there was an imperious urge to help the lost and suffering; to do anything and everything I can to help unblock people from their soul pain; to help them see and feel and KNOW the truth of what exists. For those who are near and dear to me such as my children, my goal was to minimize their pain; to do everything I could to prevent them from becoming blocked from the Light of their own Spirits. I was on a Mission.
Unfortunately and fortunately, I don’t live in this ecstatic state 24 hours a day 365 days a year. Otherwise, I might not even know suffering exists and wouldn’t have the heart to help. The truth is, I still experience my own periods of soul suffering. However, when I’m not lost in my own stuff or giving everything I have to work through it, I’ve been doing my best to give my all to help in the healing of others; or to share a glimpse of peace, joy, or love to people whom I cross paths with and pain I feel, even if our lives intersect for only a moment.
Although I believed I was making a difference all these years, it never quieted the urge within me. It only made it stronger. My heart ached deeper for the pain of other people… for their separation from the “All That Is”… from themselves.
What began as a Mission eventually grew into a dire desperation. It was as if I was hanging from a rope for dear life and the rope was tearing through the flesh of my palms. No matter how painful it got, I had to keep grasping and trying to help people, even at the expense of my own skin. I didn’t think anything was wrong with it. I believed I was following in the footsteps of a soul that walked this earth over 2000 years ago who gave his life to save others.
I finally reached a breaking point and at the same time, things were breaking loose within me to lead me into a healthier way of living and of treating myself more kindly. In the midst of all this breakage, I had a visual image of me and the life I had been living.
I saw myself swimming across the ocean with very long, very hard, very determined strokes trying to keep myself afloat and survive, and at the same time, reaching into the depths of the sea pulling up as many souls as I could along the way.
I didn’t like what I saw. I felt overwhelming self-compassion and sadness for my own soul’s pain of desperation. The rope I’d been grasping onto tore straight through to my heart and I felt so much despair and confusion.
As usual when I’m overcome with emotional pain, I turned to music that expressed how I felt. I searched for the video of a song I’ve always loved called “I’d love to change the world” by Ten Years After. As I listened to the words which sang…”I’d love to change the world, but I don’t know what to do” my heart was calling out to God with everything I had in me. I didn’t want to stop helping but something didn’t feel right, didn’t look right about that image of me in that ocean. I placed my burdens before God and then had a major breakthrough in my thought process.
I realized I wasn’t just trying to change the world; I was trying to hold the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was trying to play God. God conveyed to me very clearly it was not my job and he doesn’t want me to feel that way, and as a matter of fact, he doesn’t even need my help. I was humbled. The world is not mine, it is God’s. He is in control not me. If he has done what he has done for me… then God’s grace is available to everyone else as well. I realized the sad truth that I just didn’t Trust God to do it. Wow… what a revelation! No wonder I had so many issues with Trust.
After listening to that song, the breakthrough was sealed. I meditated and let God guide it as always. He took me on a visual journey in my mind which sometimes happens to me in meditation. I saw myself swimming with all my might in that ocean again but then suddenly I stopped. I exhaled in surrender and slowly flipped over and moved into a back float. I saw myself being supported by the water…. by God’s love… holding me. The sun was beating down on me from the sky… the warmth of God’s love shining down on me. There were little ripples of waves glistening from the reflection of the sun all around me. Light, Love and Peace was all around me… above, below, everywhere… and I rested in him… with Trust.
So what’s changed? The intentions of my life are exactly the same, but I no longer feel the intensity of having a MIND that is constantly thinking about how to help at each and every moment yet feeling helpless on some level. I no longer have an unquenchable WILL determined to contribute in the healing of souls and feeling like that will isn’t truly making enough of a difference. Instead I have a HEART for all of this that is supported by my mind, my will, and my growing Trust in God… in Life… in Myself.
I still feel the pain of the lost, but what comes from my heart is love, compassion, and willingness to give what I have from a place of Peace and Trust in God, not out of sense of duty or of fear for the people I am trying to help. It’s a totally different experience. You can’t understand it, until you understand it. And no, I’m not always perfect at it, but I’m doing much better at it all the time and, as usual, God has been giving me many lessons on surrendering and trusting to further seal the deal.
Fear is like plaque that clogs the arteries of the heart. The flow just cannot come through to feed the rest of the body with blood if it exists. We must relax, trust, and have a completely open heart system to let God’s energy flow through us with peace and ease to help in the healing of the rest of God’s body. We can be much more effective in helping others in this way…. for this is how God’s energy flows to us… willingly… with no fear… no sense of obligation… no exertion and straining… just with Love.
Our household was like a war zone last night. My kids were treating each other absolutely atrociously. They were screaming at each other at the top of their lungs and calling each other vile names. It was so upsetting. In an attempt to regain order and peace in the house, I stepped in. Much to my regret, I added only more anger to an already chaotic situation.
When all was said and done, I grounded them and told them if they could not communicate with each other properly, they could not communicate with others. I removed all cell phones, laptops, xbox live, ipods, etc. they use to text and talk with the outside world. Of course, this was not received well at all. All kinds of remarks were hurled at me… making me feel like as a parent… I have completely lost control (as if we ever really have any right?).
As I went to bed, I pondered the whole situation realizing that some of those remarks hurled at me were in fact true. How could I expect my children to treat each other with love when they’ve witnessed very little of that between their own parents lately? How could I expect them not to lose their temper and display anger towards each other when I was capable of doing the very same thing in my attempt to regain order?
Then other questions came to my mind…
How could I expect them to improve their communication by taking away all their means of communication?
Am I asking too much of an 11 and 12 year old to have a healthier relationship when they are siblings and probably need to be able to vent their anger somewhere?
How healthy is it really to ask your kids not to display such anger for each other if that is truly what they are feeling?
How unhealthy is it for them to repress these emotions for fear of losing their stuff or to fake happiness with each other in order to earn it back?
Don’t we already have enough problems in this household with people being unable to express their feelings and those feelings not being heard?
How effective am I really being here by diminishing such opportunities because the feelings are simply ugly?
And finally… God, how do I make this better… what can I do differently?
After my meditation this morning, an idea came to me which I’m hoping was a gift from God… an answer to prayer. I decided that in order for my kids to earn their stuff back, I was going to have them do an exercise. I wanted it to be a journaling exercise that would allow them to get in touch with their feelings and to really feel them and express them… to discover what was behind their anger…. to challenge them to look at themselves… and to put an intention in black in white about how they could do things differently.
So I asked them to each get a notebook and a pen. While they were doing that, I asked God to PLEASE direct me on the questions I should ask them. I then asked them these questions one by one…
What are all the things that bother you about the other person?
Why do these things bother you?
How does it make you feel that the other person does this?
How does it make you feel when you express your anger towards them in return?
What good things do you see in the other person? (they both said nothing and refused to write)
So I asked… what would you miss if the other one was gone?
What can you do differently to express your anger in a healthier way?
How are you going to treat each other better in the future?
When we were done, I asked them to exchange notebooks and read what the other one wrote. Neither could decipher each other’s writing so I volunteered to read their answers to each other one question at a time (another blessing by God I think).
Well let me tell you… it was an experience for all three of us!!! While both children had done the writing with total attitudes, a hesitation to be open to the other in any way, and a conviction they were still in a place of justified anger for the other… it all began to melt as I read their answers and added my own insight to what I was reading on the paper… to what I saw they were really both saying… since they are much too young to understand that behind their anger is pain and hurt.
It was just so sad to read it and I tried to keep myself composed emotionally as I read and conveyed what I saw. Rebecca was angry with Frankie because he stares at her and he is loud playing his video games and will never let her play with him. Frankie was angry with Rebecca because she makes fun of him when he looks at her and she threatens to humiliate him and tell people about his Tourette’s if she doesn’t get her way.
So I explained first to Frankie that what I see is that Rebecca cares about you and just wants to spend time with you and alligator tears began to form in his eyes. Then I explained to Rebecca that Frankie cares about you and wants to look at you and Frankie’s began to cry harder. Then I said… what I see is they both have a desire for connection with each other and love each other and Rebecca began to cry. All of this was too much for me and broke my heart as I realized that I am living in a household full of people who just want love and connection to others and cannot seem to have it with each other and it broke my heart and I began crying too.
After I was done explaining the rest of their answers, I told them they had one final exercise to complete in order to get their stuff back…. that they had to do the 30-second hug therapy which we had all seen posted on Facebook. It was a video of two young kids whose father had made them hug for 30 seconds as therapy, which seemed like an eternity to me watching it, and was so touching.
I had asked my kids to do this the last time they had a brawl and they flatly refused but this time, it was a condition of getting their stuff back so they were willing. I told them I would only do 10 seconds (my thought was eventually to work up to 30 seconds if we needed to do this again). As the seconds clicked away, I couldn’t get enough of seeing them hugging. Since they couldn’t see the timer and are too young to be really aware of time, I let the timer go… and go… and they got their 30 second hug therapy without even knowing it.
So long and short, my kids have their stuff back. I have no idea if any of what I did will change their behavior. But for me… the miracles that happened were that both my kids were crying… in touch with their feelings… expressing them not repressing them… and the feelings were sadness not anger… a longing for love and connection… not hatred… and they each got the opportunity to be heard, even if it was through the voice of their mother…. and finally… watching them have a piece of that loving connection in that 30 second hug.
May God please guide, bless and direct my family every day… as he did today.
There is something to be said for the ground of stability, even it is unhealthy soil. There is just some sense of security in “the known”. But that’s about where the something ends. There is absolutely no real security in anything that is slowly killing you inside. At some point, you’ve got to face reality that in order to really live the way you’re meant to live, you’ve got to make a change.
Change is a scary thing, even when you know you want it, even when everything inside is calling you to make it. On some level you know it’s going to shake up some dirt and there goes your sense of stability, your false sense of security. Something inside you just doesn’t easily allow you to comfortably and peacefully make the change. Perhaps its procrastination, perhaps it’s the fear of “the unknown” or perhaps it’s your intuition telling you now is not the right time.
All the agony you’re trying to avoid by making a change… the fear… the potentiality of regret… the affects to other people… those aren’t the real things that keep you in agony. All the thoughts of “what ifs” and all the self-sacrificing in the world to insure the ground of stability is not compromised for others isn’t what keeps you in the state of discontentment. No. The agony… the lack of peace… the state of continual turmoil… is nothing other than you NOT answering the call placed upon your heart to make a change.
Sometimes you know it long before you get up the courage, but you don’t really want to know it. You ignore it and deny it as much as you can. You question yourself continually. You engage in long, windy discussions about it, but you do nothing. Even still, because you’ve recognized it on some level, you find no sense of peace in doing nothing at all. You just agonize internally.
The truth is… you know it; you’re just not prepared to know it. You feel it; you just don’t want to experience all the feelings you may have to face in making a change. You wait… hoping for the precise moment when it’s going to be simple, easy, and you’ll feel the least amount uncomfortable, but that day may never come.
There aren’t too many changes that are as easy or simple as changing your underwear. There are very few changes that feel as good as putting on fresh, warm clothes from the dryer on a cold day. The time you take in between the recognition that you need to make a change and when you actually make it, is really nothing other than you… trying to control it.
The reality is… what feels the most uncomfortable is existing in your own skin when everything inside you is telling you that you MUST make a change and you don’t listen to that call. At some point, it just becomes unbearable NOT to make the change. Like a plant that’s outgrown its container, you feel constricted. You know in your heart that you’ve exceeded the limitations of what you will accept for the conditions of your life. No amount of watering or fertilizing seems to help.
The longer you wrestle, ponder, agonize and sit in that uncomfortable space waiting for the right moment, the more you start to die inside. The root of your life… who you’re meant to be, how you’re meant to live, of WHO YOU ARE starts to corrode. You wither and people see it in you.
Just before you’re ready to completely keel over and die, you experience the moment… the shift. You let go of control and you surrender.
Suddenly, all the pros and cons of making the change disappear. It’s all pro and grow through the change or else let the shred of life that’s left of you go away completely. The peace you’ve longed for is suddenly there even though you may be in for one of the biggest transplants of your life. You consider the fact that you may lose a few of your precious roots in the process, but there is no fear because everything inside you seeks to preserve that one major root…your own life… the only one you’ve been given.
You then know… you then feel… you then experience the empowering conviction that now is the time. You look back at all the agonizing and all the waiting for the right moment and you realize that there never even would have even been a struggle to begin with if the change wasn’t needed. We just don’t struggle when we are content with “what is”.
So if you’re struggling with making a change, you can ask yourself all the questions, you can talk-talk-talk, you can sit in the fear of shifting into the unknown, you can wait all you want to, you can attempt to control the change as much as you wish, but hopefully one day you will surrender as I have.
Don’t worry… if you don’t like the outcome, you can surrender again.
The Calling 